let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Randomize
