nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize