so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize