Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
