I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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