You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
