And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
