You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
