his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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