Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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