I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
