we have pet lesbian snakes
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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