Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
