i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
