Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
