brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The power of my boobs compel you
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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