I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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