I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm like, not good at living.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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