She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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