I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You're a waste of cheezeits
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize