"it" just moved
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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