I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
