found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
