every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
did i walk over a car last night?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
