i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
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