There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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