im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
