Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
