It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
