I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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