ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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