if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
