The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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