I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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