How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
