So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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