Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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