i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
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