I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
