I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
