my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
