Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
