Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
