um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
