I need help removing her.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
