At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
