I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
