tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
