Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
