just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
