why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i already hear my dad disowning me
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize