Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
