Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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