I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
