She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
