she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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