drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
