And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
